Subject: First Times

They say there's a first time for everything, but I can't believe I've managed to live this long without ever having before encountered a flatulent horse's ass that was not a politician.

Yet - here I sit across the street from a horse who seems to have discovered the Joy of Flatulence. With the rate of occurence, I am profoundly happy with his discovery, else we should have horse parts broadcast in some wide ranging distribution - bits of hay, and whatever clinging to nearby trucks and dogs.

It took a while to figure what the periodic raucous sound was. It sounded like some giant modem making a very profound connection to someplace that you wouldn't want to make connection. Indeed - such, it turns out, was the case. Peeking out the door in the twilight, and scanning the view showed nothing unusual - except the horse across the street, with his ass up in the air, merrily chomping away at some new mown grass. After waiting a bit for a repeat report of the Great Modem, the horse trumpeted with such gusto that it was impossible to mistake.

By his demeanor it was clear the horse didn't find these explosions at all uncommon. My god! I thought. Think of horses doing this all over the planet! Cows! Bulls! - and myriads of rabbits and ferrets. Elephants! Poor NYC. The entropy of it all. And you're worried about global warming?! Give me a break.

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Created: September 2, 2004
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