If you think the following is funny, you are probably a very sick person in meed of intensive therapy and exterme measures in sensitizing you to the continuing tragedy of life - and death. Date: Sun, 9 Aug 1998 02:26:20 -0400 From: JD To: Flash Subject: WHAT A WAY TO GO! In the other e-mail I mentioned Mickey Mouse, well after reading this I guess my complaints are just Mickey Mouse. What a way to go! A bad day PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant, Stefan, 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly - and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump truck full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that happen." --------------------------------------------------------- ANSWER: Date: Sun, 9 Aug 1998 03:03:12 -0400 (EDT) From: Flash To: JD Subject: Re: WHAT A WAY TO GO! Oh my GOD JOHN! I know this must be terribly sick of me, given the ignonimious, not to mention unusual form of death of the poor zookeeper, but, I almost fell off the couch laughing. Alas, I know a few equally sick people who will do the same when I send it to them. There is an old German saying: Es ist eine gute Sache das die Elephanten nicht fliegen koennen. Apparently, it isn't necessary for them to fly. This tragic event gives pause to reconsider the dictum: small may be beautiful, but it lacks the grandeur of size. In this particular 'size', I fail to appreciate the grandeur; but, on the other hand .... There is also a context to be had in the dictum: when the shit hits the fan it not distibuted equally. There is also somthing about Mohammed and mountains that seems not inappropriate. "Elephant runs a muck" The tragedy undoubtedly continues with the followup headline: "Elephant starves to death due to lack of keeper." Imagine what the animal rights groups will make of that. -- F